Be Proud in Your Pride

I am somebody. I am ME.

And I don’t need anybody to make me somebody.

-Louis L’Amour

Who am I?

The search for identity wasn’t only Buddha’s pursuit. 

Each person’s own sexual and gender identity is core to this search. Am I a man or a woman? Who and what decides it? Whom am I truly and deeply attracted to? Should I conform to a norm that a majority or a community prescribes? What is making me want to fit in? There are so many questions carpet bombing my mind. 

Pride month is celebrated all over the world. There are arguments or views on why the world suddenly awakens just one month in a year. It hasn’t been easy to convince organisational leadership to invite them to learn more and promote understanding for all.

In the organisation I work for, it has been an amazing journey over the past two years. To go from thinking “deviants” may be one or two to taking baby steps with five people identifying last year as a part of the spectrum to this year with over forty-eight people identifying themselves.

Gathering vocabulary that provides clarity on sexuality, being able to distinguish gender identity, body types, sexual orientation, and much more has been a powerful journey for me. 

Human beings are more than the binary understanding we have been conditioned to.

To begin with sex is assigned at birth. That’s not just the factor that defines our sexuality. Our sexuality has more dimensions than the sex assigned at birth. Gender and sex are not the same thing.Fit is based on the genitals but may not be based on what the child may grow up and identify as. Gender is largely how you feel about yourself. It is what you believe about yourself and identify with. Gender is a social construct. 

Let’s take another step forward. What’s your sexual orientation? Somewhere along the way, we begin to find ourselves attracted to or attracting potential suitors to procreate. Humans (and dolphins) are the only beings capable of engaging sexually in both recreational and romantic contexts.Here comes our attraction, which may be inconsistent or consistent with our identity by assigned sex or programmed or resonating gender. When did you first realise you were “straight” or “heterosexual”?If the answer is “I just knew”, then that is the case for others as well. Very naturally.

Lastly, there are expressions: how we choose to express our identity and the way we show up and interact with the world around us. The clothes we choose, the makeup we wear, and the roles we play in our intimate interactions. 

The world of ourselves offers a window to find out more for those who are curious, open-minded, and non-judgmental about what is around us. The rules of that world include “don’t yuck my yum” and being “accepting” of other people by telling them “Come as you are.”

The Silver Lining

Eda, how do we know what app to look for on the phone? asked my 78-year-old father after observing me doing something on my smartphone. While growing up, I saw him pride himself on being hands-on with technology. 

Times gone by

In the 70s and 80s, a person with tech acumen was able to operate, repair, and improve the experience of electrical equipment like TVs, amplifiers, ovens, lights, and pipes in the house. We prided him on being able to comprehend, apply his intelligence, and make things functional. He was electric and electronic savvy, so to speak.

Ever since he saw the first computer being installed in the company he worked for, something the size of a monstrous generator, he flipped. He was scared and cautious about interacting with a personal computer. The language and terms were tough to comprehend for him those were big reasons for his unwillingness to learn. He was operating from a space of fear and insecurity and hence couldn’t take this learning journey at the pace that was needed at that time.

The present

With the entry of smartphones into our lives, this learning gap has widened further. There are two generations handling this very differently. One whose lives almost depend on it and another who can’t seem to understand how anyone can do almost everything on the phone.

I spent the entire last month with my parents, and it was a very insightful time for me. I observed them keenly, their rituals, thoughts, outlook, insecurities, survival techniques, and much more.

The future

It made me think about the kinds of challenges that lie ahead for our generation and beyond as we transition through our age timeline.

What is it like now for an average person to interact and transact on the Metaverse, Blockchain, or other newer concepts? What more evolved technologies and innovations will enter our sphere, making life simpler for some and more complex for others?

Soon, silver will shine in our generation. Time is moving faster than we can comprehend. Remaining relevant and productive will become more challenging by the day.

Grow together

I wonder if there is something we can build as communities. Focus on enabling the middle-aged generation as they interface with the technology and lifestyles of the future.

What can be done proactively for the multi-generational workforce so that they are purposeful and fitting in times to come? How can we leverage the collective power of the present to prepare for the future and stay productive and grow together?

It’s about time we started building muscles and preparing as a society. This opportunity definitely has a silver lining. There is immense scope to learn and grow together.

The Searing

I recently attended a workshop called “Jokering Justice” by Sambhaavnaa, something which was on my to-do list for a while. This experience turned out to be a deep reflection of self and what it’s to be like in the shoes of the oppressed. Penning a few lines on my journey with the Theatre Of The Oppressed.

Tiny fluttering desire
Fleeting thought to aspire

Searching for something 
An unknown in the world of known

Looking at the wide blue sky
Deep longing to be free and fly 

With enough on body and belly
Soul still trying to find meaning

What about those who despair
Live with out gratitude, unaware

Finally, I found the way to ride 
Make a journey to the other side

An experience insurmountable
Thoughts, actions, words all on table

Learned the every path is not linear
Grateful for all that made me sear

-QuillSe

Hunt for the Blue in Sun City

As I set foot out of the Jodhpur railway station on January 2nd, 2020, all I wanted to find was the much hyped “blue” in the Marwar region of Rajasthan, Jodhpur, also known as the Sun City of India.

Somehow, Umed Bhavan didn’t capture my interest. Instead, I decided to focus on the grand Mehrangadh Fort. After reaching the palace, and the usual drill of security check, long line for tickets, and audio guide, I joined the long line of tourists to see one of the 33 spots of historical importance at the fort. 

The grandeur of structure on a sandstone mountain loomed over me like a beautiful Giant. I got me wondering what it would been like to travel back in time, when the Raus of Marawar ruled Jodhpur. What would it have been every time the kind marched on his horse or the elephant after triumphantly winning a battle? what would it have been like for Rapunzel to be an Indian Character trapped in of those high towers? The fort is an aesthetic marvel and gifted creation from the past.

Marwar’s Majesty-Mehrangarh Fort

My next stop was the the Canon Point, in the fort, gives you a good view of Jodhpur city as well.On my way there, I struck up a conversation with a young man, who, to my surprise, was a graduate in history and was working on documentation of the history and its evidence at Jodhpur. I also met a local musician, Nainuram, and got to know his life and music. 

I was still mystified about the missing blue in the blue city.There has been so much branding about Jodhpur as the Blue City, that it was a disappointment to not see the town painted blue. It appeared the Sun City had bowled over the blue of the Blue City.

My curiosity got me talking to a local about it. He said, “If you want to see what is blue about Blue City, then walk to the farthest point of the fort ahead of the canon point.” You will reach a temple. Go behind the temple and there are some vantage points that will let you have a view of the Blue City. “

He also suggested that I immerse myself in the Blue City by walking through it and accessing the 2 water bodies at the back entrance of the fort from “Nav Chokia”. 

It got me motivated to explore further. I reached the temple. The backside of the temple had a little window to peep through.

Finally there it was – The Blue City

The sun had set, and it was time for me to find my way back into the city.

Another pleasant surprise was my walk to the Clock Tower, or Ghantaghar, the market square in Jodhpur via the winding stone-paved path just beside the fort’s entrance. I caught the night-lit views of the fort and enough visuals of the local settings in the old part of Jodhpur City.

To know all about Jodhpur, read my post here